Random Babble

[begin rant]
I've always thought my eating habits were unusual. I used to be able to eat anything and a lot of it. But once I discovered caffiene, that changed everything. I started taking diet pills in highschool. I stole them from my mother. She was taking Lipozene; which I now believe is banned from sale within California. I would take them and miraculously my hunger pangs went away. At the time I wasnt taking them to lose weight, or to eat less. I was taking them to stop my stomach from growling. Now I know that I couldve just taken Tums or some other anti-acid but I was young. Once I left my first highschool I went to a adult edjucation center for teens and young adults where I continued on and off with taking OTC diet supplements. Be it drinks, mixes, teas, shakes, I liked it all. Because it wasnt a diet. I was just figuring out how to not eat because in my life, eating took way to much time and I had shit to get done. I dropped out of school on my 18th birthday, thank you freedom. And I began living on my own in various places. Boyfriends houses, friends houses...hell, I even stayed at people houses who dispised me and I them. It was a great time. I started using heavier drugs, like cocaine and meth- which, as most people know, slow down (if not completely oblitorate) the appettite. So I didnt need food, the taste if it was - nothing. It just tasted like different types of mush in my mouth. I couldnt add enough salt or sugar or anything to make food seem apeasing to my drug induced mind. My stomach began to shrink as my wasteline did. I continued doing cocaine and herion for two years. loving every minute except the one where I decided to quit them. I havent been able to eat the same since those two barged into my life. Now I just restrict calories, desperately wanting to control some sort of aspect of my life. God damn it.

[end rant//]